Skin So Smooth – As a driver, somehow you fall into the oddest of conversational topics. On a considerable lengthy drive of about one hour, I listened to many stories and complaints from my rider in the backseat. She was 56. I know that because she told me. She shared lots of facts about herself. One will never escape my memory.
“Mister Driver, do you know why my face doesn’t have a single wrinkle and I’m fifty-six years old?”
I readily admitted I had no guesses and knew little about creams or remedies for maintaining a youthful appearance.
“When I was just a young girl, before a teenager, my grandmother shared her beauty secret that I started using right away. And I have never stopped or skipped a treatment. And it’s free!”
“That’s fantastic,” I said.
“Do you want to know what it is, Mister Driver?”
“Sure. I probably won’t understand it, but go ahead.” I was thinking of some complicated formula of split pea soup and egg whites or similar.
“Urine. That’s what my grandmother told me. I spread my own urine all over my face once a week, and I don’t have a single wrinkle. I know you’re driving now and you can’t see me, but I’m telling you. I have none. The skin on my face is as smooth as a baby’s behind.”
“That sure is a surprise. I would have never guessed it. I suppose that’s one of those natural beauty secrets that’s been handed down for generations.”
I have no doubt she was telling the truth. But I immediately wondered, what would make a person think of trying that the first time? And it likely would take many applications over several years, since spreading urine on a twelve-year old wouldn’t produce an immediate result. I am going to stop thinking about this. Should I enter a disclaimer here? Do not try this at home?